Let’s Stop Role Playing

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He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. – Raymond Hull

We all have different roles in our lives. For example, I am a wife, a daughter, an aunt, a granddaughter, a sister, an MT, a business woman, and the list could go on and on. Each of those roles are different. At the same time, hopefully who we are at our core doesn’t change based on what role we are in at the time. How often do we find ourselves playing a role because that’s what is expected of us?

I remember one of my biggest frustrations as a teenager was that I felt we, as a family, played roles. My parents were very involved in their church. We would find ourselves arguing all the way to church on Sunday morning, and then the minute we pulled into the parking lot, you got it. The “happy faces” went on and we went in the doors. I’m pretty sure everyone thought we had a family who got along really well. It was a role we played because it was expected.

In my first marriage, I found myself once again playing a role, that of a happy wife who was in absolute denial that her husband was gay. I did that role for almost 17 years. And while not everything in my marriage was horrible, it wasn’t a very good time in my life. The first time I fell in love after my divorce, a big part of that was because it was a relationship based on absolutely no pretense. It was so refreshing.

I’ve seen the same thing in the work place. How many times have you seen someone sell something with the “absolute guarantee” that it will work, or that indeed we can meet that 30 minute turnaround time? Sadly, in the medical transcription industry, all too often. I’ve been in situations where I’ve been told “just tell the customer we can do it and we’ll deal with the fallout later.” I’ve also been in situations where things started out authentically and then changed to this. When that happens, relationships are destroyed and in business, that’s a path to failure.

What happens when, instead of role playing, we choose to live our lives authentically? It’s an amazing journey.

Less stress: When you’re not trying to move in and out of roles, not being who you really are, it creates a lot of stress. Putting a stop to that lessens the stress in your life.

An increased sense of peace: Trying to be something you’re not creates a conflict within. It’s a conflict that can even lead to health problems. Letting go of that means you have an improved inner peace that’s well worth the struggle it often takes to make the change.

Speaking of health, yes it is unhealthy to try to not live an authentic life. Don’t let your health suffer because you’re trying to be something or someone that others expect you to be. It’s simply not worth it.

So today I challenge you to live your life authentically. Stop role playing in your life and be your authentic self. Celebrate who you are, enjoy it, and bask in authenticity. You won’t regret it.

How about you? Have you had times when you had to play a role that really wasn’t your authentic self?